Hello, this is Laura Lee Rose. I am a speaker and author. My background is in time and project management.
I help busy professionals and entrepreneurs create effective systems so that they can comfortably delegate to others, be more profitable and have time to enjoy life even if they don’t have time to learn new technology or train their staff. I have a knack for taking big ideas and converting them into smart, sound, and actionable ideas.
At the end of the day, I give people peace of mind.
Today’s question:
What is your natural response to conflict? Do you
- move away,
- move towards (try to smooth things over) or
- move against (go in to “fight” mode)
How does this help or hurt you on the job?:
For me – It would depend if the conflict has anything to do with me or my purpose. If it does not impact me, then I have better things to spend my time. Not everything going on is worthy of my time and attention. By contributing to a situation that does not concern me , I neither benefit the real stakeholders nor myself.
If it has nothing significantly to do with me – I move away.
If it does impact either my professional or personal goals, I focus on a Win/Win/Win solution. A conflict often means there’s an opportunity for a larger solution, a bigger picture creation. A conflict often indicates that we haven’t taken the time to find the better solution.
If I look for a higher-level solution, I can find several that provide satisfactory closure for both (or all) sides. I focus on the higher-level or the essence of the goal — instead of the specific issues being currently discussed. Most of the conflict resides in the “HOW TO do it” – instead of the “WHY we are doing this”.
If you take the time to understand each person’s reason or “why they want it done this way” – you can find an appropriate solution. (Habit 5 of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Understand first then be Understood). – If it’s been awhile since you’ve read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – I recommend you re-read it this week. You have accumulated additional experiences and knowledge since you last read it. Therefore, your perspective will be different simply because you are in a difference place in your life.
Here is an example that may illustrate this idea better:
I was in a meeting with a high-profile client and the developers. The client was insisting that they needed a “drag-n-drop” feature in the next release (scheduled for Monday). The developers were adamant that this level of rework was not feasible by Monday. The client was also adamant that they have been waiting for that feature and wanted it by Monday (OR ELSE).
So I asked the client “why” they needed that specific feature. How were they going to use that feature. Where would they use it.
They said that they wanted to create a “new project” from several “older projects”. They wanted to drag and drop the files that they wanted into a “new” container to create the new project.
So – I paraphrased the “want”. “You want to be able to import folders from older projects to create your new project.”
“YES” the client said enthusiastically.
I said, “We have that. We don’t use the Drag-n-Drop . We use directory-drill down instead. This allows you to drill down past the file level. You can even drill into the file, down into the code AND you can mask (or exclude) lines that you do not want. It’s more flexible and powerful than the Drag-n-Drop. Here – let me show you. ”
The client was delighted. “WOW! This is better than what we were asking for.”
“AND you already have this feature in your current version. You don’t have to wait until the next release.”
This is a good example of solving a conflict by better understanding the motives and reasons on both sides. Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People calls it “Understand first and then be understood.” That habit works well in many situations.
I realize that your situation may be different. Why don’t we schedule an appointment, where I get to know more about your unique situation? And then I will be happy to make recommendations on what your best steps are moving forward.
With enough notice, it would be my honor to guest-speak at no cost to your group organization.
Contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info for additional information on these things.
I also have several worksheets that help clarify your goals, your teams missions, and your performance expectations in the Professional Development Toolkit. The toolkit goes into the who, what, where, when, why and how of all of the above. It contains audios, videos, presentations, and worksheets for your use and growth. Take the next step and check the toolkit out <<HERE>>
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