Tag Archives: growth

How to easily handle a co-worker who blame others

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Have you ever been a target of  undeserved blame?  Do you know someone that deflects his/her responsibility for the problem by putting the spotlight on someone else?
What’s the best way to handle these situations?  Do you fight fire with fire?  Or do you fight fire with water?
An effective and professional way to  handle co-workers who blame others is to simply ignore them. Stay focused on what is going to assist the team in the long run. Put the spotlight back on what will get your team moving forward.
Simply focus on two things:
1) Where you are right now.
2) Where you want to actually be.
Although you can do little to change how others act, the ‘blame game” is usually initiated as a defense strategy.  Eliminating the need to defend and judge will eliminate the need to blame others.
Avoiding the blame game is easy if you are fully focused on the solution (versus the problem).
If the co-worker is making you the center of attention, use that spotlight to focus on the solution. 
For example:.
“While I do not agree with how this issue occurred, Gary is right about one thing. I do want to take some responsibility for fixing it. Gang – we are where we are. What do we need to do right now to get us back on the right track”.

Want to be a good leader? Be a good teacher.

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– When the student is ready, the teach will appear
Buddist Proverb

In my GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional continuous online coaching series, we cover real-life professional dilemmas such as the below.
If you are interested in more training in these areas, please signup for the continuing online coaching series.
Whether you are leading in the office, home or life, it’s much like teaching.
A good teacher provides only the answers that the student is asking.  If the teacher’s goals is to  cover all the information in their syllabus to accomplish the semester’s goal, then their class plan will be different than if their goal was to help the student understand the significant concepts of the material.  You can see how the different emphasis and goals might change the way the teacher approaches the task.

Same with the work force and life.
As a leader in the work force, community or life in general, you can decide what type of leader you want to be.
Do you want your focus to be “the execution of a series of pre-planned tasks and directives” or will your focus be on the high-level mission and vision (allowing for the natural deviation of specific tasks to accomplish the essence of the high-level vision)?  Both goals are very appropriate.  Both goals will have different approaches.

A good teacher modifies their pace to their student’s absorption rate or rate of understanding.  If the teach gets too far ahead of the student, the student will be lost and frustrated.  If the teach falls too far behind the student, the student will get bored and distracted with other things to fill in the empty space.

Same with leading.  A good leader sets his/her pace to the team’s movements.  In a funny way, the good leader is actually following the team.  If the leader leads too far ahead, the team will be pushed, pulled and jerked into compliance.  Although the tasks might be executed on time, they may be lacking of quality and eloquence.  If the leader leads to slowly, the team is apt to either complete the task on their own in a different direction (and away from the overall vision) or get distracted to complete something else (delaying the delivery of this project).

Becoming a good leader (like becoming a good teacher) takes time, practice and patience with oneself and others.  It’s not an over night skill.  Be gentle with yourself and with others, and everything will come together at the right time.

If you are interested in knowing how to take these leadership concepts into the professional environment, please sign up for my professional and career management (free) newsletter at
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Feel free to share this newsletter with your family, friends and colleagues. My business relies on satisfied clients as the primary source of new business, and your referrals are both welcome and most sincerely appreciated!

Enjoy!

Warmly,
Laura Lee Rose
We talk more about how to incorporate this philosophy into the real-world professional environment in my on-line coaching academy series.  <check out our GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional>

Feel free to share this newsletter with your family, friends and colleagues. My business relies on satisfied clients as the primary source of new business, and your referrals are both welcome and most sincerely appreciated!

Why do we interrupt each other?

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 Would you like to know the following 2 secrets?
  • Why do people interrupt (or, rather, why do people who chronically interrupt do it)?
  • 3 Tips you can use to stop a constant interrupter at the office
Quick overview on ‘why’:

On the average, we speak at the rate of 125-150 words per minute. We can comprehend and listen at the rate of 600 words per minute. This means that our minds are underutilized by a factor of 4-5 when listening to others. Therefore, it’s a struggle to keep our minds on topic. Often times, we hear one or two phrases of the conversation and we jump ahead to a solution or experience that happened to us. We’re quick to share our experience and expertise before we realize that this wasn’t really the focus of conversation. Because of our boredom, we inadvertently created a tangent and separate conversation (either in our heads or out loud).

Our society also supports and encourages this lifestyle.
Not only does our minds working at a faster rate, other things are happening so fast these days. With the internet, cell phones, texting, beepers, and instant messaging – information is constantly streaming at us, for us and by us. Even our interruptions are interrupted. For instance you may be working on a task and then you get interrupted by an instance message or “online chat” by someone (or via phone call). While responding to that initial interruption, someone else enters your office. It’s situation normal. We even have a name for it: “multitasking”.

Tips:
The way you conduct yourself can greatly diminish the amount of interruptions you encounter.
1) Spell out your intentions up front.
Example: “Hey, John (the boss). Thanks for agreeing to meet me on this topic. I’m having this problem and I value your opinion on this. There are a lot of different pieces to this explanation; so please bear with me. I want to tell you the entire story. Then I want us to wrap around and get your thoughts on specific details.”
Example: “I really want to keep this meeting on schedule, so I need this meeting to be brief and to the point. The purpose of this meeting is XXX. I ask everyone’s help to keep us on target. I ask everyone for their patience and avoid interrupting each other –with one exception. I ask everyone’s permission to interrupt if I see the meeting go off topic.”
2) Value your time and others will as well.
Make use of your “Do Not Disturb” sign on your cube, phone, chat and instant message for blocks of time when you do not want to be interrupted. OR make use of “open office hours” publishing blocks of time when people can interrupt you.

Example: “Hey, Joe (co-worker). I’m in the middle of a task here. I’ll be done with this at 3:00. Let’s meet in the break room at that time to discuss your idea (or schedule a real meeting to fully discuss it).

Example: “Hey, Joe (boss). That’s a good point. I want to give that issue the proper time and focus. Because I am focused on this right project now, I can’t give it the attention that your topic deserves. Priority wise, do you want me to delay delivery on this and switch to that? Okay — I’ll be done on this by Thursday noon. Let’s schedule a longer discussion for Thursday at 2:00pm.

3) If there is a particular person that is a frequent offender (or perhaps its you), give them an additional role in the meeting. For example:

  • Ask them to be the note-taker.
  • Ask them to keep the Parking Lot list (list of important topics that were discovered but not really on the agenda).
  • Ask them to be the time-keeper

Because interruptions have become so natural, we may not even notice that we’re doing it.
Read the short article: “Interrupting is a 2-way street”

Interested in an online coaching series?  <check out our GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal>

Don’t miss a tip for career and time management:  <Subscribe to the Rose Coaching newsletter here>

Which superhero are you?

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With adversity comes super-human strength and determination.
Over the rainy weekend, I watched The Fantastic Four (a movie about 4 comic book superheroes). While watching it, it occurred to me that we possess those same inner powers.

• We have Mr. Fantastic’s ability to stretch and reach beyond what we ordinarily expect from ourselves.
• We have the Invisible Woman’s ability to telepathically send energy waves and vibrations toward other so either repel or protect.
• We have Thing’s extra ordinary strength and determination in the face of danger.
• We have the Human Touch’s has extraordinary fire and passion for things that align with our purpose.

What other comic book heroes do you align with, when called to inspired action?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an alter-ego to call upon, to help us take that next leap?

We all have it within us.  What if we deliberately wore our superhero alter-ego to get us over that next speed bump?

What would happen?

 

 

Make compromising your second choice

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I am a dance instructor as well as a success and business coach; and I often find things we can learn from dance.  For instance: Sometimes it is possible to make everyone happy.  You just need to be willing to take the time to look for the shared  “Win” in every opportunity.

For instance:  A beautiful couple was taking some private dance lessons from me.  At our last lesson, I asked them if they had been able to attend some dances to practice and show-off what they were learning.  The young lady confessed that they were having some disagreement about that.
She said, “He just wants to dance with me; and I want to dance with other people as well as dancing with him”.

I certainly understand both sides of that coin.  But both partners can get exactly what they want.

1) He can only dance with her.
2) She can dance with other people as well as dancing with him
3) While he is sitting out (because she is also dancing with other people), he can be on the look-out for new moves to try out on her.

This way, everyone is playing in their comfort zones.  He can relax and watch other people dance.  He can eye-spy some interesting moves that he had not tried before; while she is experiencing some new moves with the other leaders.  When they come together again, they can share what they have learned from others.

It’s like this in life as well.  When a couple comes together, it’s good to have individual interests as well as shared activities.  This way, when you have your quality time together — you have lots more stories to share. This is the same in business relationships as well as family issues.

As a business and success coach,  I realize that there are various solutions to a problem.  Few things are his way or her way; your way or their way.  If you take the time, you can often find a higher-level solution to most situations.

If you like the above tips – subscribe to my Dance Thru Life Tips newsletter at
http://eepurl.com/cSDC6

Integrity Booster: It’s all in the follow-through….

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By Laura Lee Rose, author of TimePeace: Making peace with time

Hello, this is Laura Lee Rose – Corporate Exit Strategist for the Blooming Entrepreneur – and I am a business and life coach that specializes in time management, project management and work-life balance strategies.  As a business coach, I sometimes receive late requests to change an appointment. Because of my busy schedule, it’s not easy to accommodate these types of last-moment requests.  In my professional life, I easily handle this with my cancelation and refund policies.  But how do we handle similar things in our personal and social lives?  Well, I recommend that we respond in similar tones.

Many people define integrity as: Saying what you mean, and doing what you say.
Most of us will say we have integrity.  If so, then why are we still:

  • late for appointments
  • avoiding certain phone calls and meetings
  • not following-through on commitments to ourselves and others
  • telling people what we think they want to hear
  • asking just short of what we really want, because we don’t think others will give us exactly what we want
  • say something we don’t really mean

All the above are examples of ‘a slip of integrity’.

Everyone has been disappointed by a seemingly sincere person.  And everyone has disappointed someone in the very same way.  Therefore, everyone has hiccups in their integrity.  It’s natural.  It’s human.  To me, integrity is a muscle that we can make stronger with practice and time.

A key integrity-muscle toning exercise is how we respond when we do fall off center.  Do we not only apologize, but go out of our way to make amends? Or do we make a string of excuses for the mistake? Do we blame others? Do we allow the shame of making a mistake compound the situation?

Generally, it is not the initial hiccup that causes people to question our sincerity and reliability.   It is actually how we handle our mistakes that define our true integrity.  People don’t normally lose respect for us when we make a mistake.  It’s how we take responsibility for that said mistake.

Toning exercises:
1) Acknowledge and be at ease with the fact that we will falter from time to time.
Think of a tight-rope walker.  They are literally walking the straight and narrow.  But if you look closely, the entertainer is constantly falling off balance.  They are constantly regaining their balance with the continuous adjustment of their body from the tip of their heads to the top of their ankles.  Their adjustments are so quick and subtle that, in the big picture of things, they are perfectly in balance and on course.

2) Define a personal refund or amend policy.

In any business and social endeavor, we are ultimately in the service of others. If we take on the ultimate service position, then we need a personal refund policy. You cannot be all things to all people.  Nor can you be all things to one person.  Because of this, some people will be disappointed at one time or another. Create a personal refund policy and protocol that you can immediately initiate and execute when you miss the mark. If you are prepared to make amends, your respond will be appropriate and immediate.

3) Immediately execute your refund/amend policy.
If you commit to a refund or amend policy ahead of time, you are more likely to take your word more seriously.

If you are interested in some real-world, real-life scenarios and examples, continue to the appendix section at www.lauraleerose.com/Integrity Booster.pdf

If you are interested in similar articles, they can be found at Laura Lee Rose’s Professional Career Development Library  (or subscribe to this link http://eepurl.com/dUi81)

If you are interested in more detail professional coaching or a professional coach to help you stay on target with those goals, please consider one-on-one coaching sessions to propel you forward faster.

7 Tips to reduce paper BEFORE it becomes clutter

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Office Organization Tips

By Laura Lee Rose, author of TimePeace: Making peace with time

 

Did you know that the 3rd week of April is “Organize Your Files” week?

Here’s 7 quick tips to prepare for this upcoming holiday…..

 

Office organization is an important step toward both releasing clutter and creating more time in one’s hectic schedule.  In this information age, many of us receive thousands of emails a day as well as dozens of snail mail packages and papers. Before drowning in this information, experiment with these 7 simple tips for both paper and electronic posts.

 

 

7 tips for paper and electronic clutter:

 

1) Don’t bring it in the house or office in the first place.

I do a quick elimination at the mail box. If it’s junk mail, advertisements, etc I note the ones I am interested in and toss the rest. The ones I am interested in, I look at on-line.

2) Once in the office, sort into three boxes/containers: TODAY, This week, later.

Once sorted in my time-sensitive boxes, I can prioritize my time appropriately.

3) Release the need for paper.

Acknowledge that everything is currently available remotely through the internet. There’s always ways to replace or get another copy.

  • There same ads are normally on the store’s website.
  • The magazine/newspaper/newsletter often have on-line version.
  • You can easily get replacement receipts and bank statements.

 Revisit your real need for the paper trail. If it is an imaginary dependency, then toss it and discontinue the paper subscription. Continually ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen if I threw this away? Isn’t there a way to retrieve this if and when I really needed it?”

 4) Take on an On-Demand and Abundance mentality.

Instead of cursing the abundance of email and post mail, appreciate and use that knowledge. Realize that even better information will continually come to you.  Therefore, you never need to save something “just in case you need it in the future”.  There will always be an abundance of information exactly when you need it.  If you haven’t read or used it within a month, it is now obsolete.  Toss it. Release the old to make room for the better.

 5) Create email Message-Rules

Setting up Message-Rules allows you to presort your email, even before you see it. Investigate your mailer for the feature “Create Message Rules”.  Create different email folders and message rules for different subscriptions, subject lines, sender or from names, and topic headers.

6) Time-sensitize your in-box with “TODAY”, “This week”, “Later” action intentions.

Flag the items you need to “take action today” using your email message flag feature. Items that you can deal with later move to your email LATER folder. The only thing in your inbox should be things you need to deal with today or this week. Everything else is placed in its proper folder.  If stays in your LATER box over a month, delete it.

7) Block time to review your email.

Don’t interrupt your day every time an email, a phone call, or an instant message comes in. Allow your mail-rules, voice mail, and do-not-disturb features to do their job. Create automatic responders to initially respond to incoming email (i.e. announcing that you have received their email, that you need some time to review, and that you will have a quality response within 2 business days.  If it is an emergency, ask them to call you.)

Scheduling a block of time to handle the accumulated requested (instead of being interrupt driven) is a more effective use of time.

 

I am Laura Lee Rose, author of TimePeace: Making peace with time. I am a business and life coach with over 20 years of corporate experience, specifically in the software industry. I now use my time and project management skills in my own Rose Coaching business, to help people transform the life they have into the life they really want.

If you are interested in more organizational and time saving tips, check out my book: TimePeace: Making peace with time (at amazon.com) or subscribe to my newsletters and articles at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/

 

Questions to Ask Yourself After You Get Fired

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As a business and life coach who specializes in time management and work life balance strategies, I recommend clients to consistently look forward (not backwards).

Therefore, the question “why I got fired” is not as beneficial as “what do I want to do now“.

Although there are many symptoms — there are usually only a few underlying reasons that anyone gets fired (I am making a distinction between being “fired” and “getting laid off”):

1) The ‘real’ job did not match what the effort the employee wanted to submit.
2) The employee and employer’s expectations were not understood or did not match.
3) The job didn’t lead the employee’s career in a direction that the employee wanted to go.
Given the above, better questions to ask yourself after you get fired are:

How to Repel Your Existing Customers from Ever Coming Back

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Hello, this is Laura Lee Rose – Corporate Exit Strategist for the Blooming Entrepreneur – and I am a business and life coach that specializes in time management, project management and work-life balance strategies. As a business coach, I received this recent question:

“How do you repel your existing customers from ever coming back?”

At first glance, this may seem like a strange question, but it is actually a great topic. In any business, it is unrealistic to feel that you can make everyone happy with your products and services. Most successful businesses do not plan to be “all things to all people”.   As such, there may be certain customers that you don’t really want as regular clients.  This is actually very good business planning.

Having said the above, how does one go about professionally “repelling” an existing customer without the risk of a “Better Business Bureau Complaint”?

One very positive way to “repel customers from ever coming back”, is to focus on your overall goal to an exceptional client experience. This seems strange, but please bears with me.

If your goal is for 100% client satisfaction (or an exceptional client experience), and you are unable to satisfy this particular client with your current services or products, point them toward someone else’s service or products that will satisfy them.

Creating a “No Excuse Zone” around YOU Professional Development Series

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Below is Part 2 of a 3-Part article designed to help IT and database professionals stay on top of their game in an ever-changing trade. Part 1 highlighted some IT scenarios. In this part 2, we will take a closer look.

Part 3 offers several steps toward creating „No Excuse Zones” in our home, office and thinking. For more examples that fit your specific work environment, please feel free to contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info.

We all have “excuses‟ as part of our normal, default speaking and thinking patterns. It’s normal. It’s human. We often entertain ourselves with stories of how we got to where we “don‟t want to be.”  We do not readily acknowledge these stories as „excuses‟ or blaming something or someone external to ourselves for our predicament; we‟re simply ‘explaining’ ourselves. But the longer we stay in the ‘explaining’ stage of the current situation; the longer we are stalled and not making forward progress.

 

Let’s look closer:

My task was to contact 3 hospitals to collect meaningful metrics on these five database features. Only one hospital has responded on only one database features. I am late with this project and don’t know how to proceed.

Our developer had not been keeping his team and stakeholders involved in his progress. He had been struggling with the 3 hospitals without conveying the obstacles he was encountering. He allowed the deadline to pass without a word of status. He was nervous and ashamed about his lack of progress on this task. Continue reading →