Tag Archives: Freedom

Stop working 7 Days a Week to get your job done.

Posted on by

This is Laura Lee Rose, a business and life coach that specializes in professional development, time management, project management and work-life balance strategies.  In my GoTo Academy: Soft Skill Tools for the GoTo Professional continuous online coaching series, I go into office etiquette on various real-world IT topics in detail.
If you are interested in more training in these areas, please signup for the continuing online coaching series.

In the previous newsletter article on Professional Development, we covered some office conflicts (don’t miss another professional newsletter tip—signup for the free newsletter here). A follow-up client question (regarding the previous newsletter article) was “If your workplace is getting too hard, but you like the job – do you leave the job or stay there? What’s your recommendation, please.”

I am not a fan of the idea of working 7 days a week. As a time and project manager, I am more in-lined with realistically scheduling for 5 quality work days (or equivalent). The company is paying you for 5 days of quality (i.e. the very best of you). You can’t give the best of you,  if you are not the best of you (which mean the well-rounded healthy, happy, stress-free you). I recommend realistically planning and working 5 quality work days. This way you have the energy and stamina to handle anything that comes your way. You will have the adrenalin required for the infrequent emergency.

“But the works continues to come and my boss expects me to do it.  If I don’t do it, I get a poor performance review or worst: fired!”

Imagine the company as a restaurant with a glutton of menu items.  But you don’t have the funds (time and energy) to purchase everything on the menu.  Therefore, you deliberately pick and choose the items that best fit your budget and preferences.  Now, imagine your manager as a blind waiter.  The blind waiter will continue to pour your coffee until you say “when”.  In both situations (the menu and the coffee), it is your responsibility to speak up.  The company and waiter will continue to bring you food and drinks until you say “stop”.  Their job is to push their product.   And even if you take the meals home to complete later, they end up spoiled and stacked at the back of your refrigerator.

Your manager wants the work ‘done with quality’ — not laying at the bottom of your in-basket (i.e. back of your refrigerator).  He doesn’t much care if you get it done or someone else gets it done.  Allowing him enough lead time to manage and hand-off to someone else is the responsible thing to do.

“I’m worried about my performance review.”

At the end of the day, your manager expects good work from you.  They contracted for 5 days of quality work, allowing you to create a balanced life that sustains your energy, passions, and expertise.  The weekends and vacations are designed to energize, feed your creativity and hone your skills.  Taking this needed time away from work allows you to be more productive and effective during the paid 5 days at the office.  Being fully transparent on the items that you can realistically accomplish with quality and those that need to be re-assigned or postponed, allow your team to properly manage the business.  Taking full advantage of the team attitude propels you to a different level.  Quality and honest service begets larger rewards.

On the other hand, working long hours 6 or 7 days a week will product mediocre product and services. Not taking the vacations, weekends, breaks and training drains your batteries.  Although effective for short periods in ‘high-crunch’ emergencies, the execution as a long-term strategy will be exhausting. You will be producing 7 days of mediocre work.  Not producing your best 5 days a week is stealing from your company.  The company will not be impressed with the mediocre work (even though you feel you are working hard and putting in extra hours) and you will get a poor performance review. Now you are resenting the extra hours and the lack of appreciation.

Conclusion:

As in the restaurant, the company will always have things for you to do.  The projects and ideas will continue to flow and evolve.  Every accomplishment will yield new ideas for the next project or service.  It is a never-ending spiral of growth and expansion.  Therefore, the list will never be completed.  If the list will never be completed, then working 7 days a week won’t be enough, either.  In the restaurant, you have no problem picking and choosing from the menu.  You have no problem saying “when”.  We need to feel that comfortable in the professional office as well.

On the other hand, I believe you can have it all.   To learn how to have it all, please subscribe to the GoTo Academy: Soft Skill Tools for the GoTo Professional.

If you liked this tips, more can be found at www.lauraleerose.com/blog or subscribe to my weekly professional tips newsletter at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/

The weekly newsletter contains tips on:
1)      Time management
2)      Career maintenance
3)      Business networking
4)      Work life balance strategies

If you haven’t taken advantage of your introductory time management coaching session, please contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info

 

Got a Problem?

Posted on by

Got Pain?

In my GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional continuous online coaching series, I go into the different tools, usage, and usage etiquette in detail.
If you are interested in more training in these areas, please signup for the continuing online coaching series.

I don’t often get headaches, but on Wednesday, I had a duzy.
I spent most of the morning and afternoon trying to figure out why I had this headache and what type it was:
  • Was I struggling with something with my business?
  • Was something out of alignment?
  • Was I just reacting to the high-low pressures of the upcoming summer storms?
  • Is my body just telling me to shut-down for awhile?
  • Should I focus and mediate this headache away?
  • Lay down for awhile?  (since I can’t seem to concentrate anyways)
  • Was this something people call a migraine?
  • Was it a sinus headache?
Finally it got so distracting that I could not move my head without pain. So — late afternoon, I decided to take a trip to the drug store and get some headache-powder. The Goody headache powder (not recommending it — just stating that it works for me) has always works for me. But by the time I  entered the drug store — I could not remember why I was there!
“This damn headache — it’s so distracting. Oh-yeah…. I’m here because of the headache.”
Within 5 minutes of taking the powder — I was feeling much better.  I can’t honestly tell you when it completely when away — because my attention was no longer on the headache.  But it is easy to see how we can get caught up and distracted in the “pain” that we don’t take the action to remove it.  I often use the term “we’re postponing the cure”. We’re slowing ourselves down.

I spent most of the day wondering “why I had a headache” (thinking about it) — instead of actually doing something about it. I already knew Goody would help — yet it wasn’t until late afternoon that I decided to go to the store and get it. I spent most of my day focused on the problem and not the solution ……

We talk more about how to incorporate this philosophy into the real-world professional environment in my on-line coaching academy series.  <check out our GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional>
Feel free to share this newsletter with your family, friends and colleagues. My business relies on satisfied clients as the primary source of new business, and your referrals are both welcome and most sincerely appreciated!

How many mistakes do you want to make today?

Posted on by

How many mistakes do you want to make today? – Find out the secret to making zero mistakes this week, month and year.  Read on….

In my GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional continuous online coaching series, we cover real-life professional dilemmas such as the below.
If you are interested in more training in these areas, please signup for the continuing online coaching series.


On Tuesday afternoon, I opened an email regarding a radio broadcast of some interest to me.  Unfortunately, the radio show was set for Tuesday (today) at 11:00am.  My initial thought was: “Darn I wonder when this originally was sent.  It looked rather interesting.  It was about smart women – and I’d like to think of myself as a smart person who happens to be a woman.”

I checked the timestamp of the email, and it was originally sent Tuesday (today) at 9:00am. Having a project manager background, my next thought was: “Darn.  That was poor planning.  These smart people weren’t really setting themselves up for success on this particular event.  Oh well….maybe they will have a replay available that I can take advantage of later.”

Wednesday, I received another email stating that the broadcast would be rescheduled.   When I opened the email the note said that it was going to be rescheduled for late Sept/Oct.  There was no other news on the topic.

  This led me to wonder:

  1. Since this message was send 24 hours after the event was supposed to take place, were people left hanging?  Or did they just broadcast another program instead?
  2. Was this rescheduled because of lack of attendance?  No one called in because of the late notice?
  3. Did the guest speaker get confused? Was he being taped today – but the actual broadcast would be later?
  4. Was this rescheduled because of technical difficulties?
  5. Was this rescheduled because the guest did not show up?
  6. Was there a mix-up on the studio reservation?
  7. Will I even want to tune in late Sept/Oct?  I can’t really set aside a date/time in my calendar.

Then my mind continued with other possibilities and conspiracies.

Things certainly pop-up and take us off-course.  Since we know this up-front, how should we  professionally approach them?  Is there a creative way to turn these events into our favor?  How can we use these mishaps to actually strength our resolve and integrity of purpose?

In this small example, should we:

  1. Be a little more transparent on what happened?  Telling our audience (or email contacts) some of the details – avoids them imagining their own answers. It also shows our integrity in taking responsibility for fixing the issue.
  2. Actually provide the rescheduled date/time?  This allows people to make note and mark it in their calendar for the future tune-in.
  3. If the future date is unknown, publish the date that the air-date will be known?  Then assure your viewers that you will update them at that time with more information.
  4. Publish this new date/time in your upcoming newsletters and scheduled promotions (now)?
  5. Provide everyone a link to the  sample taped/mp3 version?  This could be a quick summary of what was going to be said on the program, which might help keep people’s interest ignited.  We could also provide an registration page that allows us to notify these particular people of additional news and offers associated with this broadcast.

Conclusion:
Do you know why SNAFU’s and missteps happen all the time? It’s because they are not actually missteps.  Things naturally just happen.  It was our unrealistic expectations that deems the event as a mishap (not the event itself). Once again, the event is merely the event.  It is our expectations that defined it a mishap or mistake.   Therefore, it’s not the ‘mistakes’ that slow us down, but how we interpret and respond to the ‘happened events’.

Homework assignment: Think of some recent mishaps at the office.  What follow-up steps can you do ‘right now’ to turn that into an advantage?

99.98% of all mistakes are actually imagined.  What’s to say that your mistake isn’t one of those imagined?  What’s to say that this event isn’t actually an opportunity for bigger and better?

We talk more about how to incorporate this philosophy into the real-world professional environment in my on-line coaching academy series.  <check out our GoTo Academy: Soft Skills Tools for the GoTo Professional>

Feel free to share this newsletter with your family, friends and colleagues. My business relies on satisfied clients as the primary source of new business, and your referrals are both welcome and most sincerely appreciated!

Why do we interrupt each other?

Posted on by
 Would you like to know the following 2 secrets?
  • Why do people interrupt (or, rather, why do people who chronically interrupt do it)?
  • 3 Tips you can use to stop a constant interrupter at the office
Quick overview on ‘why’:

On the average, we speak at the rate of 125-150 words per minute. We can comprehend and listen at the rate of 600 words per minute. This means that our minds are underutilized by a factor of 4-5 when listening to others. Therefore, it’s a struggle to keep our minds on topic. Often times, we hear one or two phrases of the conversation and we jump ahead to a solution or experience that happened to us. We’re quick to share our experience and expertise before we realize that this wasn’t really the focus of conversation. Because of our boredom, we inadvertently created a tangent and separate conversation (either in our heads or out loud).

Our society also supports and encourages this lifestyle.
Not only does our minds working at a faster rate, other things are happening so fast these days. With the internet, cell phones, texting, beepers, and instant messaging – information is constantly streaming at us, for us and by us. Even our interruptions are interrupted. For instance you may be working on a task and then you get interrupted by an instance message or “online chat” by someone (or via phone call). While responding to that initial interruption, someone else enters your office. It’s situation normal. We even have a name for it: “multitasking”.

Tips:
The way you conduct yourself can greatly diminish the amount of interruptions you encounter.
1) Spell out your intentions up front.
Example: “Hey, John (the boss). Thanks for agreeing to meet me on this topic. I’m having this problem and I value your opinion on this. There are a lot of different pieces to this explanation; so please bear with me. I want to tell you the entire story. Then I want us to wrap around and get your thoughts on specific details.”
Example: “I really want to keep this meeting on schedule, so I need this meeting to be brief and to the point. The purpose of this meeting is XXX. I ask everyone’s help to keep us on target. I ask everyone for their patience and avoid interrupting each other –with one exception. I ask everyone’s permission to interrupt if I see the meeting go off topic.”
2) Value your time and others will as well.
Make use of your “Do Not Disturb” sign on your cube, phone, chat and instant message for blocks of time when you do not want to be interrupted. OR make use of “open office hours” publishing blocks of time when people can interrupt you.

Example: “Hey, Joe (co-worker). I’m in the middle of a task here. I’ll be done with this at 3:00. Let’s meet in the break room at that time to discuss your idea (or schedule a real meeting to fully discuss it).

Example: “Hey, Joe (boss). That’s a good point. I want to give that issue the proper time and focus. Because I am focused on this right project now, I can’t give it the attention that your topic deserves. Priority wise, do you want me to delay delivery on this and switch to that? Okay — I’ll be done on this by Thursday noon. Let’s schedule a longer discussion for Thursday at 2:00pm.

3) If there is a particular person that is a frequent offender (or perhaps its you), give them an additional role in the meeting. For example:

  • Ask them to be the note-taker.
  • Ask them to keep the Parking Lot list (list of important topics that were discovered but not really on the agenda).
  • Ask them to be the time-keeper

Because interruptions have become so natural, we may not even notice that we’re doing it.
Read the short article: “Interrupting is a 2-way street”

Interested in an online coaching series?  <check out our GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal>

Don’t miss a tip for career and time management:  <Subscribe to the Rose Coaching newsletter here>

Replay with additional proactive techniques

Posted on by
With some additional proactive (Quadrant 2 preparation — sign up for the online coaching sessions for more information on this technique), you can perform even better.

You get into the office early because you need to review the results of the overnight test run, and mail in the results before the 9:00am meeting.

“Darn, the overnight test failed at stage 6.  Why did that fail?  I need to figure out why it failed and start it back up.
Oh – the error message says that there are too many input files.  It also states that the unit tests were successfully run with 20 files, which suggested that perhaps more files could be run but it wasn’t guaranteed.   I’ll create a batch file that splits these in 20 file chunks that run them in the background.  In the meantime, I’ll manually run stage 6,7 and 8 on the first 20 files.  At least I will have sample report on the data. 
The time Carl took in making these error messages more user-friendly and understandable really paid off.  I’ll make a parking lot note to thank Carl (and copy his manager) for the error message AND suggest automating the 20 file-batch  routine.  I’ll also jot down all my notes and steps.  They will be helpful in his automation of the batch pre and post processing.”

You create a  routine that takes your 1,578 files and parses them into 20 file chunks through stage 6,7 and 8.  Once the first 20 gets through stage 6, they automatically move onto stage 7 and then into stage 8 (while the next 20 are being processed through stage 6, etc).  This way just in case you can’t get through all 1,578 files before the meeting – you’ll still be able to report some preliminary results at the 9:00 meeting.
While those files are running, you create a PowerPoint slide deck on the 20 files that have already completed.  This way, you will only have to update the data, analysis and recommendations at 8:00am.

Co-workers start trickling into the office.  Your tests are still running and your PowerPoint template is complete.  If worse comes to worse, you can present your status with these files.  You take your timer with you to the coffee station and chat with others.  While at the water cooler, you overhear that the email from the executives was just them expressing how appreciative they were of everyone working extra hours to get this product delivery completed.  You were right not to be distracted by those emails — even if they were sent at 2:00am by upper management.

At 8:00am your timer goes off.  You return to your desk to complete your report.  1,000 files fully completed the tests.  You use that data to update your deck.  You take the extra step to create an analysis and next step recommendations.  At 8:30am you see Carl walk down the hall.

               “CARL!”
Carl: “Hey!  How did those tests go?”
“Great!  Do you have a moment to take a look at the results?  I want to bounce off my analysis and recommendations off you….before the meeting.”
Carl:  “Sure!  “

While you and Carl are reviewing the recommendations, the last 578 files complete.  You and Carl contemplate updating the report.  But decide against it.  The results of the last 578 didn’t change your recommendations and would cause unnecessary panic in updating the slides.  You can safely report that all the tests were completed and are in compliance with these recommendations.

If you liked this tips, more can be found at www.lauraleerose.com/blog or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/

The weekly newsletter contains tips on:
1)      Time management
2)      Career maintenance
3)      Business networking
4)      Work life balance strategies

If you haven’t taken advantage of your introductory time management coaching session, please contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info

 

Your mission, if you choose to accept it….

Posted on by

In my GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal class exercises, I ask my students to do the following:

  • First week, I ask my students to list three heroes (dead or alive) that they would like to meet (and why).
  • Every week thereafter,  I give my students a problem or scenario to solve or improve.
  • I then ask them to pretend to be one of their previously listed heroes.  They are to redo the previous exercise with their new mindset.

They are often surprised how their answers differed — even though their knowledge set, their environment, and their resources did not change.  They only thing they changed was their mindset or perspective.

Putting on the robe or attributes of your favorite heroes makes it easier to take that leap.

Your homework, if you choose to accept it:  When faced with a challenge, pretend to be one of your most admired mentors or Brainiacs.  What would they do?  How would they react or respond?  Pretending to be someone else makes it easier to think out of our default ‘box’ and take that leap.  And since we gravitate toward heroes that exhibit more of who we really want to be — we can’t lose.

p.s.  The best part is that no one needs to know that you are doing it.

Let me know what you think.

Using Time Zones to Your Benefit

Posted on by

No longer is “I’ll finish this tomorrow”  or “I’ll schedule the meeting for later this afternoon before I leave work”an acceptable business mindset.

In today’s global and international work environment, ‘Waiting until tomorrow’ can cost you and entire day of productivity.  On the other hand, I am not advocating working around the clock either.  What I am suggesting is to merely be aware of both your surroundings and those of your clients and stakeholders.
While this is difficult when you are covering several time zones at once, it is manageable if you are working with one or two time zones on a project.
Some tips:
1) For people that are 3 or more hours head of your time zone:

  • Don’t leave your day without processing their request or (providing them status).  This way they will be automatically greeted with an update and feel that you have been very responsive.
  • Don’t suggest an impromptu meeting or interview late in your afternoon.  They have already gone for the day
  • Call them the first thing in your workday.  This will give them the rest of their afternoon to comply with your request.  And you will still have time to respond to their answers before you go home for the day.
  • Be transparent in your office hours. People at your site can see when you normally arrive and leave work.  Those in other time-zones do not.  If you are not normally in the office in the afternoon, tell them that.  This tells the client that if they want a response today, they need to send in the request by a certain time each day.
  • Incorporate and acknowledge time-zone delays and buffers in your delivery schedules.  This will allow you to accommodate for the delays either by adding time to the delivery schedule or deliberately shifting the work schedule to accommodate the time zone differences..

2) For people that are 3 or more hours behind your time zone:

  • Process their requests first thing in the morning.  Because they are not in the office yet; and this gives you an opportunity to comply with their request without them waiting.  This way they are greeted with your response the moment they start-up their computer.  If you wait until the end of your day to respond, you have delayed your progress two days (they have to wait until tomorrow to work on your follow-up request).
  • Give them a lunch-time (your time zone) call with any of your requests.  If you greet them with a lunch-time call, you can interactively review the materials that you have previously sent them earlier in your morning.  This allows you to answer any of their questions and give you time to respond to any follow-up requests before you go home (at your regular time).  If you call them the moment you get to the office, you know you will be leaving a voice mail and adding another to-do item on their list to call you back.  Deliberating orchestrating a ‘voice-mail’ tag game is non-productive and frustrating for all involved.   It may seem like you are ‘trying to communicate’ — but you are actually merely delaying the interactive interchange.

**Some people actually do this on purpose because they want to deliberately avoid confrontation and extend the deadlines.  Don’t dance to this song with them.

  • Be transparent in your office hours.  People at your site can see when you normally arrive and leave work.  Those in other time-zones do not.  If you are not normally in the office in the afternoon, tell them that.  This tell the client that if they want a response today, they need to send in the request by a certain time each day.
  • Incorporate and acknowledge time-zone delays and buffers in your delivery schedules.  This will allow you to accommodate for the delays either by adding time to the delivery schedule or deliberately shifting the work schedule to accommodate the time zone differences.

Asking the right question takes skill

Posted on by

I had a vivid dream last night.  In this dream, a friend was very proud of her published article in a certain magazine.  She asked me to read it.  I was very excited and was looking forward to a pleasant and proud read, “Sure, where is it?”

She hands me the magazine and says, “It’s in there”.

I start thumbing through the magazine.  The type was very small, and all the articles started with the same 6 words, making it:

1)      Very difficult to read, because the type was small and in italics.

2)      Time consuming, because all the article titles started the same.

I was squinting and found myself losing interest the longer I searched.  Then my self-doubt set in.  ‘Maybe I scanned the titles too quickly?  Maybe I misread some of the titles? Maybe I’ve actually passed the article?’  So I confessed, “I can’t seem to find the article in here.”

She quickly said, “It’s in there.”

The more I searched, the more impatient I became.  “I’m not seeing it.”

She was now getting frustrated, “It’s there.  Keep looking”.

By the time I found the article on page 101, I was not in the right frame of mind to read it.  At this moment I woke up with one question in my head: “Why didn’t I ask which page her article was on, in the first place?”

Asking the right question isn’t as easy as it sounds.  First – we need to recognize that an important question needs to be asked.  Second – we need to decide what that ‘important question’ would be.

In my dream, I was so caught up in the ‘action’ of finding the article that I did not pause to recognize my mounting frustration.  Although my initial goal was to pleasantly and proudly read my friend’s published article, it mutated into merely finding the article.  By the time I actually found it, I was neither pleasant nor excited.  Even though I found the article, I didn’t read it (failed at the essence of my goal).

One recommendation is to use your emotional trigger of frustration, or impatience as a sign that a question needs to be asked.

Try that trick and let me know what happens.  My June 5th newsletter article has examples on how to best use questions in your personal, professional and entrepreneurial roles.  Quickly subscribe to my weekly newsletter at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/  to get that edition.

If you liked this tips, more can be found at www.lauraleerose.com/blog or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/

The weekly newsletter contains tips on:

  1. Time management
  2. Career maintenance
  3. Business networking
  4. Work life balance strategies

If you haven’t taken advantage of your introductory time management coaching session, please contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info

 

Email or not to email – that is the question.

Posted on by

Have any of these happened to you?

  •  An email is sent at 4:00am to tell you that the 8:00am meeting location (for the same day) has changed.
  • You are waiting for your next private student and they never show.  When you return home, you find an email send 1-hour before the class saying that they will not be able to make it.
  • You need answers to some important project answers.  You continue to send email requests without success.  Your report is late.

Email is very convenient, but it’s not the best way to communicate time sensitive information.  In all three of the above examples, email isn’t the enemy but it contributes to the problem.

Some problems with the above examples:

  • Sending the message doesn’t assure that the message is received.
  • Avoid imposing and passing along your chaotic schedule onto others.  Consider that your late notices are the results of your poor planning, not the person’s that you just passed it along to with a quick email note.  In this example, you essentially “washed-your-hands” of your responsibility for your last minute change and left it up to the other person to manage it.
  • Sometimes emails can be lost and automatically filtered into junk or spam folders.  Don’t automatically assume that they are deliberately ignoring you.
  • Not everyone has email capability strapped to their belt or in their purse.  It may be several hours or until the next day before the message is actually received.

Many times we use this method to avoid conflict or embarrassment for something we are uncomfortable saying in person.  Many times we use email to simply cross a to-do item off our list.  The mistake is that we feel that once we “send” we are done.    As you can see from the above examples, that is not always the case.  Communication is (at minimum) a two-way street.   Your initiated email or text simply doesn’t complete the circuit.

An good way to avoid a mistake with email is to:  review why you are sending this message and what you hope to accomplish with it.  What is your goal?  Is the goal for them to actually receive the message and take some type of action?  Or are you merely giving some background information or reference material for later use?

Also consider:

  •  Would you be inconvenienced if they don’t get this message?
  • Would they be inconvenienced if they didn’t get this message?
  • Are you sending this email to avoid talking to them in person?
  • Are you deliberately ignoring their request for response to avoid conflict?

None of these are very good uses of email alone.

But how does one know when it’s appropriate to send an email message and when it’s not enough?  Some things to consider is the type of message, urgency and amount of lead time available.

Some good general communication rules:

  • Provide the recipient enough lead time to actually receive and respond (at least 2 business days).   If less than 2 days, call instead.
  • If 2 days passes without a response, switch to another (more urgent) form of communication preferably a phone call or a meeting.  This way you can get your response immediately through that interaction.  Both email and text is a delayed form of communication ( i.e:  send a one-way communication and wait minutes, hours, days, weeks for a response).
  • If you are not interested in continuing the relationship, respond “I’m not interested; please remove me from your subscription list; please remove me from this project; etc”.  Ignoring their emails in hopes that they will get the message is neither considerate nor effective.  They may be giving you the benefit of the doubt and are assuming that you are not receiving the communications.   Once you have explicitly stated that you are not interested and asked for them to stop all communication, and then most reasonable people will take you off their project status list.

Conclusion:

Take the time to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  If your positions were reversed, how you would like someone to notify you about a last moment change; how much time lead time would you like before you reschedule and rearrange your day;  how would you like the other person to deal with a difficult situation?

Make compromising your second choice

Posted on by

I am a dance instructor as well as a success and business coach; and I often find things we can learn from dance.  For instance: Sometimes it is possible to make everyone happy.  You just need to be willing to take the time to look for the shared  “Win” in every opportunity.

For instance:  A beautiful couple was taking some private dance lessons from me.  At our last lesson, I asked them if they had been able to attend some dances to practice and show-off what they were learning.  The young lady confessed that they were having some disagreement about that.
She said, “He just wants to dance with me; and I want to dance with other people as well as dancing with him”.

I certainly understand both sides of that coin.  But both partners can get exactly what they want.

1) He can only dance with her.
2) She can dance with other people as well as dancing with him
3) While he is sitting out (because she is also dancing with other people), he can be on the look-out for new moves to try out on her.

This way, everyone is playing in their comfort zones.  He can relax and watch other people dance.  He can eye-spy some interesting moves that he had not tried before; while she is experiencing some new moves with the other leaders.  When they come together again, they can share what they have learned from others.

It’s like this in life as well.  When a couple comes together, it’s good to have individual interests as well as shared activities.  This way, when you have your quality time together — you have lots more stories to share. This is the same in business relationships as well as family issues.

As a business and success coach,  I realize that there are various solutions to a problem.  Few things are his way or her way; your way or their way.  If you take the time, you can often find a higher-level solution to most situations.

If you like the above tips – subscribe to my Dance Thru Life Tips newsletter at
http://eepurl.com/cSDC6