Category Archives: Taking the Leap

Why do we interrupt each other?

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 Would you like to know the following 2 secrets?
  • Why do people interrupt (or, rather, why do people who chronically interrupt do it)?
  • 3 Tips you can use to stop a constant interrupter at the office
Quick overview on ‘why’:

On the average, we speak at the rate of 125-150 words per minute. We can comprehend and listen at the rate of 600 words per minute. This means that our minds are underutilized by a factor of 4-5 when listening to others. Therefore, it’s a struggle to keep our minds on topic. Often times, we hear one or two phrases of the conversation and we jump ahead to a solution or experience that happened to us. We’re quick to share our experience and expertise before we realize that this wasn’t really the focus of conversation. Because of our boredom, we inadvertently created a tangent and separate conversation (either in our heads or out loud).

Our society also supports and encourages this lifestyle.
Not only does our minds working at a faster rate, other things are happening so fast these days. With the internet, cell phones, texting, beepers, and instant messaging – information is constantly streaming at us, for us and by us. Even our interruptions are interrupted. For instance you may be working on a task and then you get interrupted by an instance message or “online chat” by someone (or via phone call). While responding to that initial interruption, someone else enters your office. It’s situation normal. We even have a name for it: “multitasking”.

Tips:
The way you conduct yourself can greatly diminish the amount of interruptions you encounter.
1) Spell out your intentions up front.
Example: “Hey, John (the boss). Thanks for agreeing to meet me on this topic. I’m having this problem and I value your opinion on this. There are a lot of different pieces to this explanation; so please bear with me. I want to tell you the entire story. Then I want us to wrap around and get your thoughts on specific details.”
Example: “I really want to keep this meeting on schedule, so I need this meeting to be brief and to the point. The purpose of this meeting is XXX. I ask everyone’s help to keep us on target. I ask everyone for their patience and avoid interrupting each other –with one exception. I ask everyone’s permission to interrupt if I see the meeting go off topic.”
2) Value your time and others will as well.
Make use of your “Do Not Disturb” sign on your cube, phone, chat and instant message for blocks of time when you do not want to be interrupted. OR make use of “open office hours” publishing blocks of time when people can interrupt you.

Example: “Hey, Joe (co-worker). I’m in the middle of a task here. I’ll be done with this at 3:00. Let’s meet in the break room at that time to discuss your idea (or schedule a real meeting to fully discuss it).

Example: “Hey, Joe (boss). That’s a good point. I want to give that issue the proper time and focus. Because I am focused on this right project now, I can’t give it the attention that your topic deserves. Priority wise, do you want me to delay delivery on this and switch to that? Okay — I’ll be done on this by Thursday noon. Let’s schedule a longer discussion for Thursday at 2:00pm.

3) If there is a particular person that is a frequent offender (or perhaps its you), give them an additional role in the meeting. For example:

  • Ask them to be the note-taker.
  • Ask them to keep the Parking Lot list (list of important topics that were discovered but not really on the agenda).
  • Ask them to be the time-keeper

Because interruptions have become so natural, we may not even notice that we’re doing it.
Read the short article: “Interrupting is a 2-way street”

Interested in an online coaching series?  <check out our GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal>

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Where does Instant Messaging and Chatting fit in the professional arena?

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In my GoTo Academy: Soft Skill Tools for the GoTo Professional continuous online coaching series, I go into office etiquette on various real-world IT topics in detail.
If you are interested in more training in these areas, please signup for the continuing online coaching series.

 

I agree that instant messaging is another good tool for communication. Chat and IM usage is also growing in the web-conference area. It’s a terrific tool to collect and answer questions during a presentation. I have been using the group chat functions in my many webinars and web conferences. I think it’s great for that.

 Once again, I agree with you that it’s a great tool in it’s separate uses. But I’m not 100% convinced that it’s a good alternative to email. Like any tool, IM can be misused.
In the regular office environment, Instant Messaging should be consider as “interrupting” someone for a moment for a quick FYI or interaction. It isn’t as effective for longer informative exchanges (not as effective as email, phone call or a face-to-face meeting).
Things to keep in mind when using IM:
  1. Since you can not see the person your are ‘pinging’, acknowledge that they may be in the middle of an important project, meeting, or interview. Ask them if they have time for a quick chat. Just because they are on their computer, don’t just assume they have the time to be interrupted like this. Their machine could just automatically bring up their chat window, even though they are not really available. Therefore, keep your IM short.
  2. Use a quick same-time chat to setup an official phone-call or meeting (or even to tell them that you have sent them a more detail email on the topic). Don’t try to actually conduct an impromptu one-on-one meeting using chat. Agree upon a time/date for the longer meeting, and allow them to return to what they were previously doing.
  3. Use a quick same-time IM to quickly verify information or status; but not a long explanation of said status. If your brief status update generates questions, pick up the phone (or schedule a proper meeting).
  4. 4) Instant Messaging isn’t as professional or effective a communication tool as a real phone call or face-to-face meeting — because people can not hear the refection of your voice, see your facial expression or your body language (similar to the limitations of email). Written text only covers 36% of the communicative message. The other 64% is conveyed through tone, expression and body language.
  5. IM has another drawback for medium or long-conversation uses. It is difficult to convey your entire thought without being interrupted by your co-chat-partner. People don’t realize when you are merely pausing. Therefore, they often jump-the-gun to respond to what they think you are saying (while you are pausing or gathering your thoughts). Since you were actually in mid-thought, IM introduces the opportunity for mis-direction and miscommunication.
  6. You also don’t know if the person has finished their thought or just has been momentarily distracted by something else that is currently happening in their location. This leads to disconnected and un-chronological ordered threads. Therefore, you are often responding and/or following different topics.
  7. Meetings are less effective if/when people are IM-ing others during the meeting. Your attention is no longer on purpose. (The exception is that if you actually pause the meeting to IM someone for a quick status or update that is aligned with the meeting purpose. Any off-purpose chatting is disrespectful.)
IM is a convenient professional tool to momentarily capture someone’s attention. But I’m not convinced it’s a good substitute for a phone call or person-to-person conversation. It’s also not as effective as email for longer-informational discussions. Just because it seems convenient, doesn’t mean it’s as effective as a real-person-to-person chat.
Video chats can certainly overcome many of the limitations of the IM texting. That tool is also becoming popular. Google, SKYPE, and ipads provide this capability and more computers (these days) have built-in webcams. The drawback is that you can not easily carry on the video chats in shared-office space.
I think they are all great tools. But great tools for different reasons and uses. They are great tools in their own right.  To learn more about the different tools and their most effective uses, please subscribe to the GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal.

If you liked this tips, more can be found at www.lauraleerose.com/blog or subscribe to my weekly newsletter at http://eepurl.com/cZ9_-/

The weekly newsletter contains tips on:
1)      Time management
2)      Career maintenance
3)      Business networking
4)      Work life balance strategies

If you haven’t taken advantage of your introductory time management coaching session, please contact LauraRose@RoseCoaching.info

Your mission, if you choose to accept it….

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In my GoTo Academy: Tools for the GoTo Guy and Gal class exercises, I ask my students to do the following:

  • First week, I ask my students to list three heroes (dead or alive) that they would like to meet (and why).
  • Every week thereafter,  I give my students a problem or scenario to solve or improve.
  • I then ask them to pretend to be one of their previously listed heroes.  They are to redo the previous exercise with their new mindset.

They are often surprised how their answers differed — even though their knowledge set, their environment, and their resources did not change.  They only thing they changed was their mindset or perspective.

Putting on the robe or attributes of your favorite heroes makes it easier to take that leap.

Your homework, if you choose to accept it:  When faced with a challenge, pretend to be one of your most admired mentors or Brainiacs.  What would they do?  How would they react or respond?  Pretending to be someone else makes it easier to think out of our default ‘box’ and take that leap.  And since we gravitate toward heroes that exhibit more of who we really want to be — we can’t lose.

p.s.  The best part is that no one needs to know that you are doing it.

Let me know what you think.

Networking Dilemma: The Net Taker

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As a success and business coach, I received the following question:

  • There is a person in your network who is smart, reliable and competent at what they do – providing a service that is highly specialized with few (if any) reliable competitors.
  • Over the years, you have referred this person many great clients and this person has always thanked you for this business. Further, without exception, the people you have referred have been ecstatic with the price and quality of service this person has provided, which reflects well on you.
  • The problem is that even though this person’s clients (and other contacts) could be great clients for you, this person has never referred you anyone. Not one. Never!
  • You have talked with this person about this and they openly acknowledge the lack of reciprocity. They assures you that it is nothing personal. This person does not refer anyone, as they simply have a personal policy against referring clients or making any referrals (of any sort) in general.

I recommended the following — but what would you have said?

Your first priority is to your client. If this “net taker” is truly the best person for your client’s situation, then focus on your client’s needs and go ahead and recommend the best person for their situation (until your find a suitable replacement). This way you are doing right by your important client or potential client.

In the meantime, continue to network with others that are expert in the “net taker’s” domain. When you find someone comparable with even more positive attributes, then you can confidently guide your clients appropriately.

Recognize that you have full control of this situation by finding other comparable experts. This “net taker” is not the only expert in their field. I recommend having an open conversation by saying “Mr/Ms X, I totally understand your positions and I want to continue to be sensitive to your principles. You are a dear friend and I value our relationship. In addition, I want to collaborate with someone of your caliber that is open to referral and recommendation reciprocation. I was wondering if you can help me in my goal. Who are your competitors? Who do you feel have similar expertise and is comfortable in reciprocating?” In this manner, you are telling them that your are openly looking for a replacement in your network for his/her position.

You are not trying to sway them in their principles, but you are being forthright in your decision to find a better referral match to your business goals. And there is nothing wrong with that.

5 Tips for managing cultural or process change in the workplace

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 “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”

Buddhist proverb

The most effective way to lead and mentor, is when the student is wanting or asking. An inherent problem occurs when you are mentoring or leading groups (such as in a corporation). Often times a company, division or department will adopt a new process or software life cycle method without regard to the culture or readiness of the employees. This creates a frustrating and possibly a “no-Win” position for anyone responsible for auditing or managing this process change.

Sometimes when people are having trouble with change, it is because they are not ready for the change. Forcing them in a direction that they are not ready for is more difficult than merely allowing them the time to adjust and continue to lead them in that direction. Allowing and recognizing the stages of acceptance are also important (see 10 Tips for dealing with change in the workplace for more information).

Some additional points to consider when leading folks toward a new culture, development lifecycle method or process:

  1. Acknowledge that it isn’t your responsibility to ‘force’ everyone to adapt to the change.
  2.  Share reason for the process change
  3. Celebrate even the smallest process successes.
  4. Ask for help
  5.  Lead by example

Read the full article at :

www.lauraleerose.com/5 Tips for managing process change in the workplace.pdf

Which superhero are you?

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With adversity comes super-human strength and determination.
Over the rainy weekend, I watched The Fantastic Four (a movie about 4 comic book superheroes). While watching it, it occurred to me that we possess those same inner powers.

• We have Mr. Fantastic’s ability to stretch and reach beyond what we ordinarily expect from ourselves.
• We have the Invisible Woman’s ability to telepathically send energy waves and vibrations toward other so either repel or protect.
• We have Thing’s extra ordinary strength and determination in the face of danger.
• We have the Human Touch’s has extraordinary fire and passion for things that align with our purpose.

What other comic book heroes do you align with, when called to inspired action?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an alter-ego to call upon, to help us take that next leap?

We all have it within us.  What if we deliberately wore our superhero alter-ego to get us over that next speed bump?

What would happen?

 

 

Make compromising your second choice

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I am a dance instructor as well as a success and business coach; and I often find things we can learn from dance.  For instance: Sometimes it is possible to make everyone happy.  You just need to be willing to take the time to look for the shared  “Win” in every opportunity.

For instance:  A beautiful couple was taking some private dance lessons from me.  At our last lesson, I asked them if they had been able to attend some dances to practice and show-off what they were learning.  The young lady confessed that they were having some disagreement about that.
She said, “He just wants to dance with me; and I want to dance with other people as well as dancing with him”.

I certainly understand both sides of that coin.  But both partners can get exactly what they want.

1) He can only dance with her.
2) She can dance with other people as well as dancing with him
3) While he is sitting out (because she is also dancing with other people), he can be on the look-out for new moves to try out on her.

This way, everyone is playing in their comfort zones.  He can relax and watch other people dance.  He can eye-spy some interesting moves that he had not tried before; while she is experiencing some new moves with the other leaders.  When they come together again, they can share what they have learned from others.

It’s like this in life as well.  When a couple comes together, it’s good to have individual interests as well as shared activities.  This way, when you have your quality time together — you have lots more stories to share. This is the same in business relationships as well as family issues.

As a business and success coach,  I realize that there are various solutions to a problem.  Few things are his way or her way; your way or their way.  If you take the time, you can often find a higher-level solution to most situations.

If you like the above tips – subscribe to my Dance Thru Life Tips newsletter at
http://eepurl.com/cSDC6

When your peer is now your boss (or visa-versa)…

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As a business and success coach, I help people manage their career development. There will be times when someone is promoted from within their team or department.  At these times, there may be some initial strain when a fellow peer is now your boss (or visa-versa).  I find that appreciation in the workplace goes a long way in eliminating the awkwardness of these dynamics.

Teams work because of the diversity and skill set of each individual in the group. Whichever received the promotion, they received it because of the previous team dynamics. Therefore, every member of that team was somewhat responsible for that person’s promotion. The team will continue to succeed as long as they see themselves as a team.

With that in mind, consider these tips:

 When your peer becomes your boss:

1) Show appreciation for the individual talent and skill that got them promoted. AND acknowledge your strengths and your part in this promotion.

2) Congratulate them on their promotion and assure them that you will continue to support them and the team.

3) Share with them your understanding that they are now in a position to network and influence a higher level of management and oversee an expanded level of projects. With this in mind, outline your strengths and your career goals to your new boss. Your new boss has seen you in action (which is a positive), but possibly does not know your individual career and development plans. Share these with your new manager, so that they can continue to forward opportunities that match your desires as well as your abilities..

When you become the boss to your peers.

1) Show appreciation for their individual talent and skills. AND acknowledge that they were a large part of your promotion.

2) Ask for their help and support to continue to have the strongest team in their division.

3) Clarify your vision and mission for the team and ask for their ideas on how to accomplish these goals. Be clear in your direction, but continue to work as a team to accomplish the goals.

4) Share that this new opportunity for you also means new opportunities for them. Because of this promotion, you have access to departments and contacts that you didn’t have before. Convey that your goal is to appropriately share these contacts and opportunities with them. Invite them to share their career aspirations and goals — so that you can introduce and connect them with projects and teams that will get them to their goals..

As a success coach, I find this type of mindset deflects any awkwardness that people may anticipate.

If you need some one-on-one consult, please consider taking advantage of your free introductory coaching session.

 

The Secret To Time

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Here’s a time management secret I’ve never shared with anyone before.  When you use it, you will be amazed how much longer time expands for you.   Sounds hard to believe?  Keep reading and I’ll prove my point to you.

As I mentioned above, I’ve never discussed this concept before because I felt it was too powerful to share.  But when my business partner and colleague, Theresa Corcoran (motivational speaker and author of Rebound and co-author of YES, You Can!) asked me to expand on this material further, I decided to include my fan-base in this secret as well.

 [box] Relax into Time[/box]

 Don’t take time so seriously.  This sounds odd coming from an efficiency and time management coach. I make my living assisting others be more effective with their time and with their work life balance strategies.  Turning around and telling those same folks to ignore time constraints and time limits seems counter-intuitive.  Isn’t that what time and project management is all about?

You are right.  Therefore, I am not suggesting we ignore time altogether.  I’m recommending using time simply as a tool to rendezvous with the important things in our lives: people, events, and opportunities that propel us forward faster.  Indulge in the knowledge that everything that MUST GET DONE will get done.  If it doesn’t get done, it was not a MUST DO.

[box] Play with Time[/box]

‘Play’ and ‘work’ are both four letter words, yet they illicit very different emotions. Incorporate ‘play’ into everything that you do.  Focus your time and attention on your deliberate activities until it is no longer fun.  Once you have depleted your inspired action for this particular sitting, playtime is over.  Take a break.  Move onto something else with the intention of returning later.

[box] Indulge Time[/box]

Colleagues wonder how I create so many articles, eBooks and videos in such quick fashion.  How do I find the time?  It’s not much of a trick.

I wonder.
I wonder.
And wonder some more.

Then one early morning I wake up with an inspired direction that I can’t fight (as if I would want to fight it).

Conclusion:

If you have a clear direction and vision, even though you don’t have a detail understanding of how you are going to get there, normally things fall into place at exactly the right time.  Fussing and worrying about when it will appear is unproductive.  You will figure it out as you go along.

Think of it this way, if the answer is just around the corner; you need to be moving forward to greet it.  If you are stagnant, someone else will collect the prize.

Best News: If someone else collects that prize, another prize is just around the next corner. You don’t need to compete; you just need to keep moving.

If you enjoyed this article, similar articles can be found at Laura Lee Rose’s Professional Career Development Library  (or subscribe to this link http://eepurl.com/dUi81)

If you are interested in more detail professional coaching or a professional coach to help you stay on target with those goals, please consider one-on-one coaching sessions to propel you forward faster.

Copyright © 2012 www.LauraLeeRose.com

What would you do with 10 minutes?

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If you were given an extra 10 minutes each day, what would you do with it?

Would you….

  • Fly a kite with the kids?
  • Help the needy?
  • Read an article?
  • Write a letter?
  • Ride a bike?
  • Kid a kidder?
  • Take a walk or swim?
  • Take a break?
  • Hug a friend?
  • Stretch?
  • Challenge yourself?
  • Laugh?
  • Organize your desk?
  • Sing?

 

Here’s your ten minutes. Do it NOW. Set your timer and indulge for 10 minutes in something that will propel you forward faster. 10 minutes a day can move mountains.